Pamela D. Wilson - The Care Navigator

Often we find ourselves in situations and we wonder how we got there.  We all fall into ruts, become stubborn and set in our ways; it’s part of life.  The challenge is when we become responsible for or a caregiver for a loved one.  This is one time in life where flexibility and understanding the other person’s perspective is extremely important if you want to have a successful outcome and a successful long term relationship.  If there are areas of disagreement, ask the other person’s perspective and be open to changing yours.  Also ask them to be open to hearing your perspective and be flexible in their thinking or habits.  Successful caregiving begins with good communication and sometimes this takes work.

Caregivers come in different varieties  – those who over commit, who’ve place themselves in impossible situations because they thought the time commitment would be an hour or two a week, suddenly it’s turned into a full time job — adult children who suddenly become caregivers after years of an unbalanced  or non-existent parental relationship  – caregivers who find themselves struggling to care for someone with memory loss not knowing what’s going to happen next.  If you find yourself in any one of these situations and you’re looking for education, information or direction — I’m offering 4-week small group educational workshops on Thursday evenings beginning August 26th, class size is limited. Information is on our website or you can call my office to request information 303-205-7877 or send an email to  info@thecarenavigator.com

Care at the end of life, whether it’s hospice or palliative care, isn’t talked about.  Your doctor will rarely mention it unless death is imminent.  Society doesn’t talk about death because in general we fear it.  There are two disciplines, palliative and hospice care, that make all the difference when your loved one is experiencing health declines.  The problem is that unless YOU ask for it, no one will offer the information.  All that’s required is a continuing health decline.  Is your older loved one continually losing weight, are they physically or mentally less able?  Why not offer more care and support in the home; this is one benefit insurance actually pays for?  Want to learn more, contact me.  

I visited with a son this week who went to see his mother and reported that the visit was “unpleasant” because she couldn’t hold a conversation or remember much.  His mother has memory loss.  Caregivers cannot expect their loved ones with memory loss to be in the same physical or mental space that they were prior to the diagnosis. As a caregiver you cannot reason, try logic, teach your loved one new things or expect them to remember.  You’re being unreasonable and likely making your loved one feel uncomfortable.  The best way to NOT have an “unpleasant” visit is to be with your loved one in the place they are, meaning at the level that they are able to function.  Maybe this is nothing more than taking a walk with them or flipping through photo albums.  Remember the visit is to give them joy, not to deal with your feelings of loss — there are support groups and classes for that.

How many individuals rush to place their loved one in a care community where staff seem welcoming and excited to have your loved one?  After the move-in all of this changes and you’re wondering what happened.  This is a common occurrence.  No matter what type of community, the care of your loved one requires continual oversight.  It’s important to talk about expectations with care communities to confirm they can provide the level of care you expect.  It’s important to have one contact for information input and output.  Staff in care communities are busy and they don’t have time to be proactive in addressing issues.  It’s your responsibility to ask questions, determine what needs to be done and hold the care community accountable for providing the best level of care for your loved one.

Filing for Medicaid can be complicated and stressful.  There’s a great deal of information required with a high level of detail.  It’s important not only to make the best effort to file an accurate application but to respond in a timely manner to any requests for additional information.  Understanding that this may likely be a stressful situation for you, it’s important to be polite to the account manager processing your claim.  Many applicants see this person as the enemy when this person can actually be the best opportunity to have your claim processed quickly.  The account manager’s goal is to ensure compliance with the Medicaid process.  Unfortunately due to a lack of knowledge, many families make the error of giving away money or assets which causes a delay or denial of the Medicaid claim. 

When some people hear the word adult day care or adult day centers they think child care.  This perception is far from the truth.  An adult day center may be just the bridge you need to prevent or delay your loved one from moving to a care community.  Imagine having 12 hours to yourself at least 5 days a week for as little as $80 per day.  In what other manner could you have such a break, knowing that your loved one is totally cared for relative to meals, medications, personal care or activities?  If you are a caregiver needing time to yourself or support to delay moving your loved one to a care community or if you’re an older adult wanting a little more life in your life, a day program offers something for everyone no matter your physical or cognitive needs. Some provide educational programs through computer sessions, opportunities to socialize, watch movies, outings, participate in craft programs and more; other centers have beauty, podiatry, dental, physical therapy services and access to medical care.  Most day centers have a nurse on staff.  If you haven’t considered a day center it may be time to investigate this care option.  

How many of us remember President Obama making this statement?  It’s a statement that will likely be proven as false.  Corporations, looking at the healthcare reform bill, are realizing it’s less expensive to pay a $2,000 penalty per employee than pay more to provide health insurance for the employee and their family.  So, if you like your insurance you may lose it.  Did the goverment make this provision knowing that it will force millions of Americans into the individual insurance market or onto government exchanges?  Do we have a government more interested in their own self interest than in the people of our country?  It’s not too late to express your opinions to state legislators.  The problem is that many of them, even in Colorado, have engaged in back door deals offered by or through a president who offered transparency and change.  The American people are now seeing that the promise of transparency and change isn’t the change we want.  Attend our event on June 13th, “How Will Healthcare Reform Change Your Life” to learn the facts.  Visit www.thecaringgeneration.com for more information about the event.

Are you a family who disagrees about the care of your parent or a loved one?  Most families who disagree don’t have all the facts.  One person does this, another that, there’s little or no cohesive communication about day to day tasks or abilities.  It’s easy to disagree about the care of a loved one when you really don’t have all the information.  Is your loved one forgetful, incontinent, awake at night, a fall risk - are you aware of all the health and care issues?  If you’re disagreeing with a loved one be sure you have the facts and aren’t making assumptions or giving opinions with no reasonable foundation.  Have a family meeting with a facilitator and you’ll be able to resolve disagreements about care for your loved one.

Nancy Pelosi said, ” we have to pass the bill so you can see what’s in it”.  Now we’re finding out that what’s in it isn’t good for the economy.  Businesses will start dumping their employee sponsored health insurance and pay penalties of $2,000 per employee to lower their costs.  Small businesses employing entry level personnel will suffer penalties of $3,000 per employee because of the “unaffordable coverage provision”.  Join me June 13th from 1-3 for a non-partisan panel discussion “How Will Health Care Reform Change Your Life? The location, The Heartlight Center in Denver.  More information available at www.thecaringgeneration.com